Scared & Refrain

The hurt is already there and it will be forever there... no matter after how long... it will still remain there...

A friend of mine told me that in whatever relationship... couple will definitely feel blissful and happy when things are alright.. When things don't work, couple sure will say it's disaster and painful... Yeah, it's true...

This is not the first relationship that I have gone thru... will not disclose too much private stuffs here as I believe some of my friends will be reading my blog (just in case)... yeah, this is a public blog too... so, not too great that I disclose too much... but one thing for sure, this was the only relationship that I really took it seriously... so serious that I put myself 100% into it.

I know I shouldn't be blaming anyone on the failure of this relationship. But somehow, I myself just couldn't let go so easily... I myself don't know what to do the best for myself to put back the scattered heart... I didn't do anything wrong to him and myself... I just want simple life...

I'm so afraid and refrain of any relationship now... I have to say I got phobia on guy!!!

Knowing some of my friends are tying up their knots with their another half. I sincerely wish them good luck and happy for them. For those that are planning for their future, still I wish them good luck. For those that they don't have any planning, better be careful... *cross finger*

Sleepless night...

I'm so tired but just feel so awake... Need to get up tomorrow 6.00am as we need to leave the hotel by 7.15am to meet up with my sister. We are going to Macao tomorrow.

I'm not so "motivated" or "keen" on this trip. The only main reason that I got here is because of my sister's graduation. Else, I would rather stay in KK and spend my time with Baby Jedd.

Arrrgghh... I want to sleep!!!!!

OMG...

OMG.... I just hate myself when I can't stop myself from thinking of J.

Everone has gone for shopping and only me left alone surfing internet in the hotel. Physically and mentally tired. Just can't bother to "squeeze" here and there in crowds, esp on Sat where everywhere also pack with people.

Please.... I don't want to think of you anymore. U don't worth me care for you. Ever since our break, you have never shown any care to me. You are so happy with your "freedom", leaving me going crazy by my own. Thanks for everything you have done to me.

TGIF...

Hong Kong

It has been really long time since my last post. I was totally exhausted everyday. Was extremely busy with my work before I left for holiday. Then, Baby Jedidiah occupied the rest of my time. He is waking up every 2 hrs punctually for milk or diaper change, and he is sleeping in my room too. So, I could hardly getting any NICE / STRAIGHT 8hrs sleep. Sometimes, I just ignored his crying till someone else came in to "entertain" him... haha... I'm bad right? Else, sometimes, I just fall asleep too while feeding him milk or burping him. :P Anyway, he is such an adorable baby that everyone love him so much... I left to HK last Saturday 1-Nov via Royal Brunei BI635, arrived at HK at 2.10pm, 10mins earlier than the scheduled time. Been eating lots here till I felt "disgusting". Went to ShenZhen China yesterday and the whole day trip took 16hrs. I couldn't sleep some more after got back to my relatives' house till 3am. Damn exhausted. I have to admit that I enjoyed all the shopping and eating session in HK. And I ve adapted as well to the small bed, small room, etc (everything is small and mini in HK). I'm missing badly my KK life and of course Baby Jedd. :P Though I have been so occupied and busy recently, I just hate it when I think of J. This trip was supposed to be another US trip, as well as for my sis graduation. Now, ended up I'm spending my time alone here. How could I not think of J??? Haiii... what to do? This is our fate and destiny. I know he will not be as bad as me, or maybe it's a great relief for him. Definitely he won't be missing me nor thinking of me. Things have ended!!!! Anyway, gotta get to bed soon. So damn tired....