Scared & Refrain

The hurt is already there and it will be forever there... no matter after how long... it will still remain there...

A friend of mine told me that in whatever relationship... couple will definitely feel blissful and happy when things are alright.. When things don't work, couple sure will say it's disaster and painful... Yeah, it's true...

This is not the first relationship that I have gone thru... will not disclose too much private stuffs here as I believe some of my friends will be reading my blog (just in case)... yeah, this is a public blog too... so, not too great that I disclose too much... but one thing for sure, this was the only relationship that I really took it seriously... so serious that I put myself 100% into it.

I know I shouldn't be blaming anyone on the failure of this relationship. But somehow, I myself just couldn't let go so easily... I myself don't know what to do the best for myself to put back the scattered heart... I didn't do anything wrong to him and myself... I just want simple life...

I'm so afraid and refrain of any relationship now... I have to say I got phobia on guy!!!

Knowing some of my friends are tying up their knots with their another half. I sincerely wish them good luck and happy for them. For those that are planning for their future, still I wish them good luck. For those that they don't have any planning, better be careful... *cross finger*

Sleepless night...

I'm so tired but just feel so awake... Need to get up tomorrow 6.00am as we need to leave the hotel by 7.15am to meet up with my sister. We are going to Macao tomorrow.

I'm not so "motivated" or "keen" on this trip. The only main reason that I got here is because of my sister's graduation. Else, I would rather stay in KK and spend my time with Baby Jedd.

Arrrgghh... I want to sleep!!!!!

OMG...

OMG.... I just hate myself when I can't stop myself from thinking of J.

Everone has gone for shopping and only me left alone surfing internet in the hotel. Physically and mentally tired. Just can't bother to "squeeze" here and there in crowds, esp on Sat where everywhere also pack with people.

Please.... I don't want to think of you anymore. U don't worth me care for you. Ever since our break, you have never shown any care to me. You are so happy with your "freedom", leaving me going crazy by my own. Thanks for everything you have done to me.

TGIF...

Hong Kong

It has been really long time since my last post. I was totally exhausted everyday. Was extremely busy with my work before I left for holiday. Then, Baby Jedidiah occupied the rest of my time. He is waking up every 2 hrs punctually for milk or diaper change, and he is sleeping in my room too. So, I could hardly getting any NICE / STRAIGHT 8hrs sleep. Sometimes, I just ignored his crying till someone else came in to "entertain" him... haha... I'm bad right? Else, sometimes, I just fall asleep too while feeding him milk or burping him. :P Anyway, he is such an adorable baby that everyone love him so much... I left to HK last Saturday 1-Nov via Royal Brunei BI635, arrived at HK at 2.10pm, 10mins earlier than the scheduled time. Been eating lots here till I felt "disgusting". Went to ShenZhen China yesterday and the whole day trip took 16hrs. I couldn't sleep some more after got back to my relatives' house till 3am. Damn exhausted. I have to admit that I enjoyed all the shopping and eating session in HK. And I ve adapted as well to the small bed, small room, etc (everything is small and mini in HK). I'm missing badly my KK life and of course Baby Jedd. :P Though I have been so occupied and busy recently, I just hate it when I think of J. This trip was supposed to be another US trip, as well as for my sis graduation. Now, ended up I'm spending my time alone here. How could I not think of J??? Haiii... what to do? This is our fate and destiny. I know he will not be as bad as me, or maybe it's a great relief for him. Definitely he won't be missing me nor thinking of me. Things have ended!!!! Anyway, gotta get to bed soon. So damn tired....

Now and later...

Now... I'm seriously injured and upset. How I wish I could cry as loud as I could. Tears are rolling in my eyes. But I couldn't as someone is with me. I just don't want to show them my sadness and make them worry of me. I just want everyone know that I'm happy. It's such a difficult assignment esp most of the time I'm emotionally imbalance. I know sometimes my happiness and smile is so fake but I just couldn't bear with it. That's the best one I could provide at that point of time.

I really do not understand why my relationship could become a topic to those PAT PO!!!! Mind ur words PAT PO. My patience is at the top limit now. NONE of anyone's business bout me and J. NOTHING for u to PAT!!~~~

Later... I don't know what would happen to me. I don't know... How I wish I don't need to think and care...

GOSH!!!

OH GOSH!!!

I had night mare last night. Dreamed that J dumped me away and all his relatives knew bout it and laughed at me. SHIT!!!! Woke up with a mixed feeling....

Now, everything is not running smooth... so stressed up....

My apartment is giving me hell lots of problems.... 1st, water supply still not yet connected due to the FXXKing Management/Maintenance's fault. 2nd, electricity supply also not yet done due to the LAWYER's fault... 3rd, now d stupid lawyer is asking me pay MORE????!!!!! My wallet also shrinked and so dry up.... stop squeezing me la!!!!!

Another one also, when J and mine issue gonna be settled???? This guy doesn't even intended to settle things up.... HAiiizzzz....

Also, my finger.... got 2 insect bites.... swollen like sausage... itchy all the time.... turned black and red sometimes.... already applied oilment still not subside.... what am I gonna to do with it????

Why is my life so difficult????

Getting married???

Yeah... FAMOUS quote and topic to every couple... whenever we meet someone/friends, just can't stop asking this question.

A lot of people asking me this question too. I would try my best to control my tear and tell them wait till I find another bf.

A church friend was making some fun coz she couldn't believe it. She said I just look happy and like usual. I told her that I just couldn't cry and cry esp at church just to tell everyone I already broke up with my bf. She said funnily: Make sure you don't hide and cry when you are at home, and look happy when in front of us ah.

Anyway, thanks to those who care and support me. Thanks so much. I know you guys want me to be happy. I'm trying my VERY BEST to be happy. I will be happy go lucky!!! I'm sure I can...

I'm just too silly...

OMG... my heart was just like being cut by a sharp knife and I was like slapped so hard that I felt dizzy... when I saw J's photo just now with a sexy lady hugging him tight... are they couple or just friends????? No matter how, I still felt so damn hurt.

We have not broke up OFFICIALLY, despite of waiting for weeks for his call to discuss and talk. Week by week he just came out with different excuses (which could be true) and we just didn't get the chance to speak.

I thought I could let go easily. I thought I'm alright. Till yesterday night, I broke into tearssssss when I listened to some songs that we used to listen together. All those memories just came back into my mind. So fresh that I could remember what happened to our every Valentine's day. So fresh that as if just happened not long ago. Oh GOSH!!!!! Why am I so silly to be sad and hurt for someone that I could not rely at all???????? Why can't I just forget about everything easily??? Why can't I just turn to be forgetful????

Oh... how I wish I could sleep forever without need to wake up to be sad for this???? It's just too many WHY in my mind that I couldn't get any answer.

God, give me a pill that can rip my memory off. It's just too hard for me.

I cannot differentiate....

Yes... I cannot differentiate when is J telling truth, when he is not...

All because that I have lost confidence on him...

I was clearing some stuffs just now and I found the last card that he gave to me. It was Valentine's Card. He told me he loves and misses me very much... Was him telling the truth????? Seriously... I don't know...

I'm so scared to think... so fear to know... SIGH!~~

Finally...

Finally, the day comes.

Received a text from J that he would be calling me today. So, meaning I would telling him to break too.

Funny... he just thought that his mail could explain everything and that's the end of it. I'm really angry and pissed off with him. Don't he need to tell me "officially"????? What kind of world is this????? Break up can be "done" in such a simple way till no official wordings???

OMG... I was thinking myself so much since morning. I really couldn't trust any guysss.... not even myself... I couldn't trust my own feeling. My feeling is totally wrong as proven by this relationship. I could feel he loved me, but actually NOT. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more... No more... No more.... Thanks for all the shits....

Wedding Stuffs / Accessories

Just to share some nice wedding stuffs and accessories that Aunty Lilian has bought for her son - Simon's wedding next year February.

Pillow for Wedding Rings
& Guest Book

27-Sep-08 = Independent Day?????

27-Sep-08

* Supposed to be our 3yr and 1mth anniversary.
* Supposed to be celebrating happily though we may actually celebrating remotely.
* Supposed to be a happy day for me.
* Supposed to feel blissful.

Ended up to be : -
~ my Independent day. I have declared SINGLE in my facebook. yea, finally. Finally I came out with courage to change my marital status. Though I felt sad, I still need to move on. I still need to face the truth that our relationship has ended.
~ celebrating NOTHING today but to live on as usual.
~ definitely NOT a happy day for me. Woke up with a swingy mood. Now, working in a zombie mode. Typing this blog with a heartache mode.
~ no more blissful day for me. Anyway, I still got my family and friends with me, by my side supporting me all the time.

Conclusion: Life still need to go on. Yea~~~ Be strong and happy!!!

I Hate Myself...

I hate myself so so so much...

I hate it when I cry for him...

I hate it when I feel upset and hurt... I felt upset even just listening to Because of You and I Will Always Love You... I cried just now when I listened to Because of You... The song has got all my feeling there. While the latter LOVE song... reminded me J whispered this song to my ear on our 1st Valentine's day. OMG... all these moments are still so damn fresh in my mind...

I hate it when I think of him...

I hate it when I miss him... when I need him by my side... coz I know all these will never happen anymore...

I hate it MOST when the more I push myself to forget this guy... the harder I push... I felt like bursting!!!!!! Because... I still love him...

Oh God, please help me what should I do?????? I want to get him out of life completely... I don't want to get upset anymore. I felt sorry for those ppl who care of me esp my parents... Oh God. I need help...

Today is Friday...

YEAAAHHHH~~~~ so looking forward to Friday... :P

Time to enjoy my drama...

Time to enjoy weekend...

hehe...

Anyway, I have had not-too-bad week. At least my mood is more manageable, not as bad as previous week. Yea... of course la... got myself a laptop Pet Shop bag... Also, a Pet Shop sling bag for my HK and Manila trip... and got a FREE yam cha Pet Shop bag from my aunty (as she got herself another nicer one)... AND also, two tube bras, which means I don't need to wear those uncomfortable tube / singlet for those low cut shirts. How can I not happy when I has already spent so much in a week time....

Is it true?

Yesterday, I was chit-chatting with P bout relationship. She is getting married with her bf next yr September. They have been together for few years and for the recent one or two years, they are on long distance but they meet very often. After they got married, her husband will be moving here to join her. Congratulations gal! You have found your one...

Seriously, I'm envy ok? hehe...

Hmmm... she told me something that I never thought about. She felt that me and J are not suit to each other, in the sense that we have different character. Hmmm... When we were together, I never thought of this as we were so happily together. Now... I also dunno whether it's true or not... already too hurt to think bout it....

Anyway, doesn't really matter anymore... I'm let going everything... I know God will bless me all the time...

Friends????

Another post about TRUE and FAKE friends...

We had a small gathering at Yoyo Lintas last night. As usual, a close friend of mine was asking again when are J and me getting married. Out of my own surprise, I told her straight that we have broke up. She was like "HUH" OOOO with her mouth widely opened. We talked bout it bit and she consoled me not to get too sad and live on. She said she knows I'm happy and optimistic girl.

Then, I was thinking myself again. How come I could tell her so truthful while I couldn't tell another friend as truthful as how I treat my other close and best friends. The only reason is she is so "fake" that I feel not secure and definitely not great of telling her my stuffs, of course another main reason is also because she has given me hell lots of headache and trouble.

Was discussing bout this with Jean this am. She agreed. She also felt that that girl just talking and behaving so strange and "fake".

Funny, in a relationship of less than a yr with J's bro, already talking bout marriage????? hehe.... this is FAITH ya...

Finally....

Finally....

Our week has settled down and back to silent...

All of us have been really super busy since early of the week Monday.

Monday ~ Pastor Kwok arrived at KK at 6.15pm. We picked him up from airport. Then, proceed to seafood restaurant for dinner which was treated by him. After dinner, we spent some time chit-chat with him in his hotel room. Then, we called the night off.

Tuesday ~ Public holiday. We all woke up early and had buffet breakfast with Pastor Kwok and Dorothy in Cafe Boleh. The food was yummy. Then, we proceed for shopping in 1 Borneo. Rested bit at home before dinner. Then, dinner at Welcome Restaurant and tea at San Francisco Warisan Square. Pastor watched some TV programs at uncle's house before they sent him back to hotel. Same day, our KL friend also arrived at KK.

Wednesday ~ Buffet breakfast with my aunty. Back to work. Busy... Then off to gym and sauna at 4.30pm. Quick dinner then went to church for bible session by Pas. Kwok. Had some leong cha then home for drama.

Thursday ~ Work. Busy again with bits and pieces... Then off to gym and sauna at 4.30pm. Tapao and simple dinner at home. Headed to church for bible session by Pas Kwok. Then, supper at seafood restaurant. We had yummy LOBSTER!!! (about2.4kg = RM451!!!) crabs... Indo style prawns... WOW... fabulous supper!!! SINFULLY GOOD. After supper, we helped Pas Kwok to pack his luggage in his hotel room. Got home around 1am. Was already super exhausted by then.

Friday ~ Woke up at 6.55am! Steamed 2 'Malay' chicken for Pas Kwok. Breakfast at Hilltop, had nice fish meehon soup. Next, we all headed to airport. 1st,check-in and Pas was so lucky to check all his 29.8kg luggage in without paying extra baggage. 2nd, walked around the new KK Airport. 3rd, had cup of coffee. 4th, Pas Kwok went into departure hall. (Sigh... made me think off J as I used to send J off at airport and ended up crying a lot. Haiii... how to stop myself of thinking of this guy???????) Back to office and worked. Sent KL friend off to Terminal 2 Airport for his flight back to KL. Uneasy le sending 2 ppl off in one day time, I mean emotionally uneasy. Did cleaning work for office. Dinner and went to church for some singing practice. We all were already 3/4 dead and luckily survived till home safely. Wow... busy Fri.

Sat ~ Now, I'm trying to clear up all my outstanding works which already piled up on my desk. sigh... need to relax myself later... going for facial later....

Tata...

17-Sep-08

What a day started with raining since early morning 6am. My mood is just as down as the weather. No sunshine, all with the coldness and sadness.

Haiii... Clarice, stop thinking what you are thinking now. Stop hurting yourself with someone that doesn't love you anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super Busy Holiday...

Yeah... I had a super busy holiday yesterday...

Woke up as usual at 7am+. We all joined breakfast at Pan Pac with our beloved HK friend a.k.a Pastor Kwok. We took our sweet time eating and chit-chatting till 10.30am. I was almost burst by then. Had eaten too much, but how to resist. The food was just too yummy and tempting to say no.

Then, we headed to 1 Borneo for shopping session. We spent most of the time in Giant supermarket and Speedy shop. Pastor bought lots of souvenirs to be given away to his friends in HK. I bought 2 musical movies ~ The Sound of Music and The FairLady. I have watched The Sound of Music musical movie in London last year May. It was really great and I just couldn't resist to get the DVDs for my own collection. Hai... and of course it was my happiest time in my life when I watched the musical movie with J in London. How to forget ???? How to let go ???? As for The Fair Lady, it was highly recommended by my aunty and Pastor Dorothy. So, I bought it as well. Will watch them soon...

We had simple lunch at Jaws restaurant. The food was just so so. I didn't ate much as I was still full from the buffet breakfast. Another church friend and his family joined us for the lunch. We proceed with our shopping session to DAISO... yea... everyone's favourite RM5 shop. Needless to say, everyone spent in the shop except Pastor Dorothy who was waiting for us outside. I quickly grabbed what I wanted and joined Pastor to relax. It was just too crowded inside the shop.

I managed to get myself two nail colours too from The Skin Food.

Hmmm... We sent Pastor Dorothy back to her home as she need to get ready herself to attend a wedding dinner while Pastor Kwok back to hotel for his dose of swimming session. We all relaxed at home for bit. I managed to catch up with my HK drama series. hehe...

After we took our shower, we picked up Pastor Kwok and our KL friend Adenan for dinner at Welcome Restaurant. Me and my aunty ate so little as we really felt so sick of food. I felt like I had gained few kgs in a day time. The restaurant was too crowded with guests that we waited for so long just for our drink and rice. The food was not as good as usual too. We ended up tapao leftover crabs back home.

We wanted to bring Pastor Kwok to Tang's Department Store in Merdeka for some shopping but it was closed. We went for some tea instead at San Francisco in Warisan Square. Next, we came back to my office as Pastor need to use my pc for check his email and I helped him to print some notes for tonight bible reading session.

My uncle, aunty and Pastor watched some TV while I watched my drama series... hehe... then I called the night off. I was already so so so tired and exhausted by then.

It was a great holiday with not only great food-abuse-sessions, also all the catching up moments with everyone. I was great to get myself totally occupied before I started to think/dream unnecessary stuffs.

All BECAUSE OF YOU...

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Old old old...

Monday night... I was awake by severe pain on my both arms and also my tummy. The pain on my tummy could be due to my soon coming period. However, the killing one was my arms.

It was so painful that I couldn't sleep. Been rolling and flipping on my bed. Survived till morning and asked for bone pain killer from mum. Haiii...

After the pain killer, my left arm turned better but my right arm was still painful and energyless. Couldn't lift heavy stuffs with it. I still could bear with it. I was praying hard it won't get painful at night so that I could catch up with my sleep.

Tue night... pain again but not as bad as Mon night and I was cuddling my warm water bag to sleep... could still sleep although my sleep was interrupted by my bro's coughing.

This am... pain is still there. I am doing office cleaning now. Quite tiring as I could only carry the hoover with my left hand. Need to do some mopping later.

Fake Friends

Hmmm... I think it's difficult to get a friend that is actually treating from his/her heart.

Just when me and J got problem, a friend of mine invited me out for movie with her bunch of friends. She is apparently J's bro gf, also my secondary school friend. So, I joined and of course not too comfortable as I didn't know her friends.

They invited me for the next day day trip for lunch and also sunset which I missed it out as I got something urgent at the last minute. From then onwards, she did not call me out anymore.

Then, few weeks after, I was asking her whether their movie Sat was over as I knew they were going out for movie every Sat. She said blamed it on Ja la coz his car was broke down bla bla bla...

Hehe... Hey gal, I'm not that stupid la.... I know what kind of ppl u r. U have been digging my privacy everywhere thru my close and best friends. Just becoz u r J's bro gf????? go away from me... U have been gossiping around bout my stuffs. U have been eyeing on J when he was in our class gathering. All of these I knew OK???????????

I did feel bit guilty for avoiding her for what she has done and thought she was really want to be friend with me. Hehe... now???????????? And some more, she is Christian.... opppssss.....

30-Aug-08

Back-dated post...

Hmmm... What had I done on this day??? I really had short memory these days.

I was really busy on Saturday. Was spending whole morning doing cleaning work for my office, washing and bits and pieces. The weather was so hot recently and I really sweated out after all the work-out. Good exercise for me. haha...

I wanted to get some skincare for myself after that since the only departmental store Ngui Kee selling Biotherm was having great promotion. Every RM80 I could get a reduction RM10. Who knows when we were going out to get my skincare, it rained heavily. I was half wet by then when I reached the departmental store. At the end, I spent RM542 less RM60 reducion = RM482 for 4 skincare items = Moisturiser, serum, exfoliating gel and also a makeup base 25+ spf sunblock.

Then, we and my aunty went for hair wash as we were attending a church member's 23rd wedding anniversary dinner at Hyatt Hotel on Sunday night. It would be too rush for us to get our hair wash in saloon on Sunday.

Evening time, we went to 1 Borneo for some shopping. We spent 3 hrs in Daiso shop which is selling all RM5 items. We bought a lot as well. haha... worth purchase.

I also got 4 tickets for Gary Chow countdown night at 1 Borneo, as I am a member for platinum club. Anyway, we did not make use of that tickets. Not in the mood to stay there till too late.

I ended my night around 12.15am. Could only sleep after all the fire works were finished. And of course, I was really been bothered whole day. Kept checking my phone as someone suggested we should speak during weekend. So, I was expecting his call. Haiiiii.... disappointed at the end....

Anyway, I still had a great Saturday.

Dayyyssss without maid

Still not too bad... just that I was getting busier than usual... need to spare time to do washing, collecting clothes back, preparing and cooking lunch, then dish washing, etc etc.

Anyway, things are manageable without maid, as long as we keep things simple. :=)

I'm wondering how's our life will be when the baby girl comes in middle of this month. We all are expecting her to come. She is arranged by our panel lawyer, whose husband is working in hospital and holding high position. The only problem that may refrain and delay the process of baby coming in would be due to the social workers. Till now, they have not approached the baby's actual mum yet for the rest of the procedures.

Guess we will be in a MESS.. haha... we will see...

Am I Going Insane Soon????

I guess I'm going insane soon.... sigh....

Sorry?????

Yesterday was our 3yr anniversary. I received the below text reply from J after I sent him another text before I went to bed. "I am sorry. I don't mean for things to be like this. Maybe we should speak this weekend." I saw the text when I woke up at 3am. From then, I couldn't get back to my sleep. Dreamed of J telling me for break up etc etc.

Sorry for what? For not loving me? For having someone else? For not wishing me happy anniversary? FOR WHAT???

I got the feeling I had been fooled. Been putting my 101% trust on love. Now, I'm left behind with broken into piecessssss heart. So damn hurt. And he just escaped himself off me by not answering my calls and textsss. Is this what he should do???????

What do u want to tell me? Telling me again that you are still not sure of your feeling to me?????? Not sure after 3 years????

Please come with a sharp knife and kill me off, better than I suffered and tortured in this manner.

So hate of myself. Y am I kind of emotional person? Y am I just can't let go??? YYYYYY??????? Y am I need to dream of J every night when I goes to bed?????? WHHHYYYYY????

Seriously, come to end my life. Stop torturing me!!!!

Without maid : Day 2

Tougher day...

My uncle just back from outstation. So, as per expected, was busier in the morning with office work. Luckily, my aunty helped to check on the little monster's homework. At least I still could survive.

Lunch. We ended up in super simple lunch. Rice with egg, one leftover dish from my mum and also vege soup. Really too rush to cook while working. My maid used to cook lunch for us. Else, she would help me to prepare all the ingredients and I just quickly cooked them. Now, from preparing to cooking to washing, all by myself. Bit hectic...

As usual, washing, hanging, collecting and folding clothes.

I'm quite tired now. What to do?

Need to schedule myself to spare some time to clean up office tomorrow.

Without maid : Day 1 26-Aug

Overall, it was not as bad as we think without maid at home.

For lunch, we all compromised for instant noodle while I opted for my mum's fried noodle which was supposed to be my breakfast.

We actually spent quite a bit of time clearing bits and pieces left over everywhere by my maid. In addition, quite a bit of time too on washing. At first, my aunty washed the clothes using the auto washing machine. Unfortunately, half way thru the washing, it broke down and cut off our electric supply too. At the end, we need to use the semi-auto washing machine to finish the washing job.

The rest of the time, as usual, busying eyeing on the little monster and also his homework. sigh... toughest job as he just couldn't concentrate and discipline himself doing his work.

Not really bad day...

27-Aug-08

27-Aug-08 supposed to be a very very sweet and meaningful day to me. It is the 3yr anniversary of J and me. Now, the meaning of it is so vague that it's so unimportant and unmeaningful.

Anyway, I texted and greeted him happy anniversary as what I have been doing monthly for the past 36 months. I still took the initiative to text him as he is still very important to me and I am still having tiny hope on our relationship.

I also requested him to arrange a trip to KK so that we could actually sort and discuss our problems out personally face-to-face.

Hope things would be alright. I'm just too blur and moody today that I can't concentrate on my work or whatever I'm doing.

Dear God, please help us. Please bless us. We need your support. Amen.

Oh... Stressed up...

Oh... yes... I'm stressed up again...

2 more days to go for me n J 3 yrs dating anniversary... Hmm... I don't think he would be remembering it anymore in our current situation. Even if he remembers, he won't be appreciating it as well.

I should actually relax myself and let go. Haiii... I just couldn't do it. Couldn't let everyone know that actually me and J are taking break which could end up permanent break. However, ppl are just too smart. Everyone starts to notice difference on me. Even "little monster" noticed that I have no longer put our photo as my wallpaper in my HP. I just didn't want to think of J. The more I think of him, I felt the pain is deeper in me, I just don't want to cry everyday.

How could I manage this well? I'm dreaming of J these few nights. He just came into my dream as playing a role as my bf. Haiiii....

How could I not stressed up in this situation?????

My maid is going home today...

Finally, today is the day my maid going home for holiday, after we bought her ticket fr KK to Jakarta 2 months ago. She is going back to Jakarta for her fasting and also Malay New Year (Hari Raya).

Gosh... hope we can cope well for these coming 2 months without maid... clothes washing, house chores, cooking, car washing, watering plant etc etc...

Some more, the baby J is coming middle of next month. Hope we can really cope well without exhausting ourselves out... :P

Sigh...

I'm in bad day AGAIN...

Believe it or not? I could feel 4th ulcer sprouting out on my tongue tip. OMG... it's so damn painful... sigh...

Believe it or not? My pc need to be admitted into hospital AGAIN... Dunno what happened to it that when I on my cpu, it just couldn't send signal to my LCD monitor. My LCD monitor kept on displaying check signal cable. I thought it was cable problem, so I unplugged and plugged in many timesssss.... interchanged the cable... still cannot... then, tried to blow the cable head thinking it maybe caused by dust... still cannot... then my cousin suggested me to try on another monitor (just in case it was really my cable or LCD monitor problem)... tried so hard just to unplugged my bro's monitor to test on mine as my bro installed too many unnecessary dunno-wat-funky stuffs here and there on his monitor. Finally, plugged my bro's monitor in... STILL BLANK!!!!!!!!! I knew I won't be that lucky...

Called YW... he told me either the display card was loose or dunno-wat-hardware got problem. Hmmm... then it must be the dunno-wat-hardware problem coz I got no display card if I was not mistaken...

Sigh... need to admit it into hospital on Monday. I'm hoping it was not any major problem. I'm now so drained out coz I need to spend quite a bit on the apartment. Haiiii....

Bank Loan

Finally, my loan application is approved.

Finally, the officer came to my office with the offer letter for me to sign and accept.

Just right before I signed, I found out that the approved interest rate is not the same as what the officer told me before. Everyone of us (my aunty and uncle) were getting loan from the same bank. So she was trying to get me the same rate but the KL office only approved -1.7%. Gik gi I.

Never mind... then only we found out the bank did not put me under the package of free movement charges. Alamak.

The officer kept apologizing and told me she would re-appeal for me for the free movement charges. She called after few hours that the bank couldn't offer me free movement charges as my loan amount is less than RM100K. However, she will appeal for me a better interest rate.

Anyway, gotta wait another week again...

Hopefully I could be offered better interest rate.

Lunch: yummy soup, lousy dishes

Just taken my lunch...

Bought some white radish, green radish and carrots yesterday to boil soup today with pork bones. The soup turned out to be very yummy.

However, my maid over-fried the fish and also the vege (kangkung) turned out to be too salty. It was so salty that my ulcers were so painful when I ate it, as if I was putting salt directly on my ulcers. ouuuucccchhhh....

So I ended up eating rice with soup. I had to cut the carrots into smaller pieces so that I didn't need to open my mouth too wide when I ate it and also easier for me to chew. Sound like old old woman ya... :P

Anyway, I love the soup.... so yummy...

Baby's Name

Imagine if your son's name is :

• Cable
• Cactus
• Can
• Candid
• Canon
• Cash
• Chao (try adding a “s” behind)
• Chilli
• Chip
• Christmas
• Clever
• Cloud
• Cocoa
• Crane
• Crescent
• Cricket
• Cutter
• Curry?????????

Haha.... funny right? But these name are in baby name dictionary...

Another funny one... the little monster in my uncle house is naming baby girl "SEPTEMBER" or "JUNE or JULY"...

HAHA...

16 Weeks of Maternity Leave in Singapore

It's really amazing to have 16 weeks of paid maternity leave in Singapore. Most companies in Malaysia only allow maximum up to 2 months = 8 weeks of maternity leave. My friend as a new comer to her company only enjoyed 4 weeks of maternity leave.

To me, I would of course prefer 16 weeks, but of course PAID leave... hehe... Could provide exclusive breastfeeding to my baby and do not have to worry of expressing milk problem in office, as what those mummies out there are experiencing now.

Anyway, it's still long way to go before I could have babiessss.... so maybe when it's my turn, Malaysia government also announcing 16 weeks or maybe more weeks maternity leave in the same time????!!! haha...

Ouucchhh!!!

Of course ouuuucccchhhh as loud as I could with 3THREE ulcers in my mouth now!!!! Not one, but THREE!!!

I myself also don't have any idea how these three ulcers sprouted out in the same time... sigh......

One on my left cheek position, one at the left bottom scissors position and one just on my upper lip...

The worst ulcers time I had becoz of the quantity THREE.

Couldn't open my mouth widely when eating and drinking as stretching of my cheek mulcer causes pain from all the three ulcers.

Wanna get this over soon... please....

How to balance myself off?

I am totally lost... totally lost in the way that I don't know to control and balance myself well...

I am trying so so so and extremely hard to forget bout J. Believe me... It's terribly hard for me and I have been having super duper hard and tough time. I have been avoiding to go home as I have too much memory with J at my house, such as all the photos, stuffs that he bought for me etc etc etc

Everytime when I thought I could let go him or have forgotten him for bit more, he would come into my dreams. Those sweet dreams really pull me back into my sweet memory with him. How to let go or forget him????? Sigh!@!!!!

I am still trying my very best to get myself occupied till super duper tired and hoping I would have dreamless whole night sleep. Hai...

Baby is coming soon...

Yes... Baby Jelidiah (her temporary name) is coming to the world some time middle of next month. Anyway, she is not my baby. As soon as she is born, she will be sent to those government welfare department as she is "unwanted" by her parents for dunno-whatever reason.

My uncle and aunty whom have been looking for a baby girl to adopt would be adopting her into their family.

Looking forward to see and play with Baby Jelidiah... and of course before she joins us, we are busying preparing baby stuffs...

Saturday...

Nothing much special about today actually.

As usual, I was working half day. Was bit annoyed by the "little monster". He was so lazy and refused to do his homework properly. Was about to smack him hard hard. Luckily my aunty came to rescue me from being violent. Little monster got lectured by aunty and uncle for hours. I believed his mum is lecturing him now too... hehe...

Prepared hearty lunch after work. Cooked some gon lau mien, fried sausages and also dory fillet. yummy yummy... :P

We all then went to my apartment to collect the baby cot, baby stroller, baby car seat and some clothes which I need to sort out before donating them out. Got no idea how those people spending their money. The previous owner ran away leaving his baby's things in the apartment for me. I still got quite a bit of "rubbish" to clear out. sigh.... not to mention bout the rest...that idiot left over more than 10 pairs of shoes for me to think and find way to donate out. Anyway, the apartment is more or less cleared, maybe only 25% left now to clear.

Today's weather is really hot and stuffy. I was sneezing so much after we left the apartment due to the dust. My aunty and me went to saloon to get our hair wash.

Then, my aunty started to prepare herself for wedding dinner while me and bro were going to a birthday party. It was my uncle's friend's son 1st birthday party. The food was not too great. Me and my bro were disappointed with the roasted lamb which the meat texture was rather funny. We didn't ate much and I left home while my bro headed to church for some gathering.

I'm now sitting in front of the tv for olympic highlight and also surfing...

This is my Saturday... not too much but rather tired and got bit headache..

My New Apartment (BEFORE)

06.08.08 I have officially bought one unit of apartment. Not meant for myself to stay (I got very good room and furniture in my parents' home), but actually for investment purpose.

Got it through auction. Not really too cheap but at market value. The previous owner had run away with his family and left over his personal stuffs and furniture in the apartment. He left me with lots to clean up once I got my loan done. I'm hoping that he won't come back to "disturb" me... hehe...

Anyway, not only cleaning up, I also need to get workers to do painting for the whole house, servicing of two air-cons, bits and pieces too......


Here are some photos of my apartment BEFORE cleaning and painting...

Living Room

1st Room


















Dining Area + Kitchen


















Toilet + 2nd Room


Will post more photos once I have "groomed" up the whole apartment.... :P

Got lots more to do... haiiiiya...

Me...

I have not been blogged for some time... not really in the good mood and also been ill recently.

Guess I need to admit that I'm growing older now. Been having sore throat and fever about 1 month ago. Recovered for 2 weeks then my illness back again. The illness lasted again for about 2 weeks. Already taken 2 courses of 5 days antibiotic which I was reluctant to at first, however no choice as my sore throat really turned bad. Been really careful of the food and amount of fluids I was taking. Just to make sure my illness won't be back for the 3rd time.

Soon not too long after my recovery, I got my period, a really heavy-flow one. I felt so weak and cramp that I need to skip my Sunday prayer last minute. I ended up lying on bed/sofa watching olympic sport programs, drama series and sleeping whole day. In the same time, my uncle's house was undergoing some renovation work, changing all the toilet outlets. Though minor renovation, the whole house still covered in dustssss (which I hate most). I myself felt so weak that I was so helpless to help. I helped with some floor mopping at the end anyway.

At night, so I was off to take away some food from Diamond Restaurant. I called them to order the food and they told me to collect after half an hour. Hence, I made use of that half an hour to buy some stuffs from supermarket and bread from bakery.

When I got to the restaurant, it was so crowded and a lot of people queuing also same time for their take-away food. My food was not prepared yet!!! Hence, I waited there standing for almost half an hour. Only my bro's fried noodle was ready, mine still not yet. I started feeling dizzy and felt shaky. My mind was blank and I felt like falling down anytime. I felt so stuffy and couldn't breath as it was so crowded. I told them that I couldn't wait any longer and would just take my bro's food. The waitress didn't even bother me at all. I was hoping so much that I won't fall down there.

Finally, I got my food. I felt time was so so long while walking to the car and wondering how I could drive back home safely. I rested few minutes in the car and prayed to God. Thanks God that I got home safely.

Oh God... when did I turn to be so weak? I thought I would be better after a night rest. I felt dizzy again today but it wasn't as worst as Sunday night. I'm hoping I'm weak just because of my period.

Dear God, please give me health... I have had lost my love and confidence on guys after my relationship with J. I want to live healthy and happily. I need strength... Please God!!! Amen...

Nightmare...

Hmmm... actually not really nightmare.

But what I had dreamed recently was a great disturbance to my sleep and mood. How I wished I could sleep peacefully whole night.

Not going to review what I had dreamed recently. They were too private and could be affecting quite a number of people.

I want to let go things and live happily.

Gathering on 28-Jul-08

Last night I met up with Penny and her hubby John, Farrah and Hazel at Grace Garden for dinner and catch up. Penny is now a 6.5 mths preggie. Was bit envy that she is so blissful and her baby girl Kylie Woon is coming to join their family very soon. But what to do? :P

Was a good catch up as we have not met each other for quite some time. Penny is back for 2 weeks for holiday and hopefully we could meet again before she left back to Perth via JB and Singapore.

Dear Lord, please bless Penny and John with good health and blissful marriage life. Please bless Kylie with good health and wisdom. Amen...

My "Baby" is coming home today!!!!

Finally, my pc is coming home in coming few hours.

My fren told me that my window is alright. What happened was some-dunno-wat-part was bit loosen, caused my pc not able to function.

On top of this, my new ram is also just back from warranty and installed.

So, gonna try my pc out tonight. Hopefully that's the end of the "hospitalization" of my baby. Heart-ache + lonely le... hehe... :P

One After Another...

Thanks God for being with me all the time when I was in difficult and tough situation. Thanks God for keeping me clear all the time and did not get myself into danger/death.

Just couldn't believe it myself that bad things come after another to me. Non-stop... while good things just didn't come to me (maybe got, but just too many bad one and didn't realise of the good one).

After 2 weeks of on and off fever, flu and cough, finally I recovered but still rather bit weak. Then, not long after, I got ulcer and it's been 2 weeks now and still not subside. I got difficulty to eat and drink. So painful that my tooth and gum are terribly painful and even my throat also affected. OMG~~~

I have not been eating and drinking much recently due to my ulcer and also not in good mood of enjoying and savouring food. Just too much stuffs in my mind. Good anyway, chance to get some weight off. :P

My office pc is back to action 5 days back and it has been working so far so good.

While, my home pc back to action too yesterday but... not working... Some window files corrupted (according to my friend)... So, need to admit my home pc back to hospital today... previously was hardware problem (RAM spoilt and eventually I paid for a new one coz warranty will take years). Now, software problem. Hopefully that's the end of it.

When can I get over all the bad lucks???? I'm not greedy le... not asking for good one, but just want to get over all the bad one....

Please God... please help me....

Good Day

I felt better today.

Today is my uncle's birthday. So I told myself that I must make sure I myself is in good mood and happy to celebrate his birthday for him. I bought him a Quicksilver shirt for his birthday present. Then, we headed to Hyatt for buffet lunch. There were 6 of us (my uncle, aunty, brother, Aunty Lilian, a KL friend and myself). We were having great time with the delicious food and also catching up. Everyone left with BIG tummy... :P

Back to office bout 3pm+. Then I tried to check out some HK hotel deals for my family Nov'08 HK trip. Quite surprised that all the hotels in HK are damn expensive now. Cheapest one also costs us RM300. Wow...

Then, I took a quick shower and getting ready to go for church cell group (as usual for Thursday). Then my mobile rang. My instinct told me it won't be J. The Digi number wasn't known to me.

Unknown: Is this Clarice (my chinese name, actually my friends all normally call my Chinese name)?
Me: Yes.
Unknown: Do u remember me? I'm XXXXXX...
Me: I was like hmmm... hmmm.... (was actually digging my long lost memory)
Unknown: I'm XXXX le... we were in same Primary Five class... and also who who who le... we all were in same class....
Me: I think I remember... (actually I'm still in searching mode, and some kind like close to it) ow u get my number? (of course must ask ma, dangerous le if everyone could get my no)
Unknown: U know la... nowadays network is so good online bla bla...
Me: I never put my contact no online...
Unknown: Basically, there's something like mouth to mouth... and I'm now in a cafe, with dunno what kinds of board games...
Me: Is it Carcasean???? U got my no from Sean????
Unknown: Yes, u r right...

We both burst in laughter.... and we agreed to come out for a catch up maybe tomorrow night. Haha... what a small world? people still remember me after like for 16years?????!!!!! Or actually I'm too famous???? hahahaha....

I sound better and happier right? :=) Anyway, I must make myself to live happy...

^ Funny Theories^

Someone comes out with these funny theories but somehow quite true...

Theory 1:
If someone who is STUPID meet another STUPID person, then it will become STUPID SQUARE.
If two STUPID meet another STUPID person, then it will become CUBIC STUPID.

Theory 2:
If someone who is SLOW meet another SLOW person, then it will become SLOW SQUARE.
If two SLOW persons meet another SLOW person, then it will become CUBIC SLOW.

Theory 3:
If you always speak to STUPID person, then you will also become STUPID.

Theory 4:
If you always deal with MACHINE, then you will also become MACHINE.

Haha... lots more that I couldn't recall.... sound brainless but actually quite true... haha...

Please

God,

Please help me and J. Please bless us with happiness. Please bless us with blissful and happy relationship.

Amen...

Hmmm....

Hmmmm...

Supposed to feel better after keeping myself busy like hell... trying so much to keep myself occupied with piles of works when I was at work, busy with house chores and reading and surfing while at home. Other time I would shopping, watching movies with family and friends, accompanying my parents watching TV, and bla bla bla.... sometimes doing something that I wasn't related too as well....

The more I think, the more I stressed up. Of course, I'm really stressed up now... I don't know what to do to the extent that I don't feel like wanna continue my live anymore. If I lost J, it's totally meaningless to live on.

I know God must be really disappointed with me. I never give up myself. Never ever no matter how difficult and tough situation. This is the only time that even I myself feel that I myself totally not alright at all. The only reason is J is too important to me. Without him, Clarice would no longer be Clarice.

Oh God, please help me. I need help and support desperately. I have never been so restless and helpless before. I love J so much that I couldn't afford losing him in my life. I felt so miserable and lost. I am not happy at all. Not even a single moment. Please help me God with whatever means. Please bless J and me a happy and blissful relationship. Amen...

Tired & Exhausted

I am extremely tired now... Have not been sleeping well for more than 2 weeks now. My mind has never been in rest for even one second for long long time.

Why are we turned out to be like this? Why everytime when I were happy and feeling blissful, things were not the way it should be?

J has not in contact with me for almost one week now. I texted him few times but no reply from him. Must be BUSY again... But in fact I know that he doesn't want to reply me. So, what am I actually waiting for? I sound quite idiot coz I'm waiting for someone to love me.

Why things have changed into this manner? It never come to my mind at all. I wasn't prepared for all these at all.

Oh... Please God... Please help me God... I just need simple life...

Soi till mou lit...

Soi soi soi....

First, my bro's pc hang kang... bought new one

Second, my sis's pc got free warranty change for her laptop fan and dvd rom... then, got window problem... YW helped her to reinstall...

Third, my home pc... was thinking to add on more RAM so it could run faster.... damn it... it turned out total dead... now, still diagnosing biut suspecting it's the RAM that spoilt... luckily still under warranty... dunno how long will they take to claim the warranty...

Forth, my office pc... just dead also yesterday... i classified it as dead coz couldn't do anything also coz it kept restarting by itself... still diagnosing also... seems to be Window problem...

why am i so so soi???? so soi that I myself couldn't believe...

So headache la...

Anyway, thanks to YW so so so much... he is really my good buddy that is always by my side everytime I need help... this is wat we call true friend... as what Jean said, friends are always the best and my friends are always by my side....

Thanks God for giving me so many good buddies...

Everyday is bad day

My fever is on and off.

My flu never get better.

Now I starts to cough and my throat is so uncomfortable.

My tears never stop dripping. Been 2 days and my eyes are always swollen and red. Everyone thought it's because of my flu.

I never been sleeping well since past one week no matter how tired I am. I need to keep watching drama or entertainment programs till I fall asleep automatically. Last night I woke up at 2.30am and started to toss and turn on my bed till I got frustrated of myself. Couldn't remember how long after I tossed, then I fell back to sleep.

Been dreaming bout J so much. Just couldn't get him out of my mind.

Sigggghhhh.....

How could I have better day?????? I'm so weak and tired....

PLEASE BE STRONG CLARICE!!!!!~~~~~

Down and Moody

I'm so down. I'm so moody.

This is worst time in my life. This is the down time of my life. So down that I don't even feel like to live anymore.

I have been so fake to myself. Even though I'm terribly sad and down, I still need to stay normal to everyone. Couldn't cry or throw any tentrum to express my sadness anytime that I want.

Could only hide under my quilt and cry as much as I could.

Why I need to go thru this????

I already had no hope and wish in my life. Everything dimished like bubble just in a day time.

Why shouldn't I deserve for a better and more blissful life???? Why everytime when I was really happy and blissful, things didn't turn out???

I'm physically and mentally weak now...

MAXIS sucksssss.....

MAXIS coverage in Sabah has officially down for 24 hours. Marking 24hrs of inefficiency = my hp has not been ringing for 24hrs...

STUPID MAXIS.... Everyone in my company are using Maxis line, only my uncle is carrying extra line which is of Digi 016. We all can't work at all as not only we couldn't call out but also can't contact others.

After buffet dinner at Hyatt, my sis and me went to Warisan Square for a while to buy ourselves shoes. Since Maxis is just a block away, then I headed to Maxis.

Notice on the glass entrance (something like this) : Maxis coverage in Sabah is temporary broke down until FURTHER NOTICE. Sorry for inconvenience.

OMG... further notice??????? until WHEN?????

I spoke to one of the staffs...

typical answer : our engineers are trying their very best now... but dunno when the coverage will be back to usual...

Me: So maybe next month then???

Maxis Staff: We are not sure when...

Me: If like this, we all no need to work and do business liao... we all relying on your Maxis and now we got into hell lots of trouble from your Maxis. Can we get rebate back????

Maxis Staff: No... you can't...

Me: Nvm... we should just swap to Digi la...

Maxis Staff: .... .... .... ...

Siggghhhh....

MY time, MY land

Guess I really need to get away from everything and have MY time in MY land...

I need to cool down...

I need to control my own emotional before affecting my whole busy and eventful day...

I need to learn to forgo everything so that nothing could bother me...

Haiiii....

God, please help me. Please give me more strength. I feel so weak now. Please give me more energy. Please give me more wisdom. I felt so helpless and restless now. Please by my side all the time... Amen...

Stressed, Depressed and Angry

Haiiii.... early morning 8am I already felt the tense, stress and get so depressed.

J has not been calling me much recently or I should put it as lesser and lesser. He always put me at the last of his day when he was already damn tired n need his sleep desperately. So, we always ended up not talking too long as he was tired. I'm not longer in his top priority now... depressed...

Today marks the 2yr and 10mths anniversary of us. He DID NOT even remember. I couldn't understand at all y it is so hard to remember or actually it is not IMPORTANT at all... siggghhhh... he knew that I care n sensitive about this issue but yet, still the same.... depressed and angry...

Did not remember of course ended up did not even wishing me on this special day... stressed, depressed and angry...

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????? Do I deserve all this?????????

"SOI" DAY 3

Case 3

While were waiting for my dad in LCCT, I opted for some KFC nuggets and potato wedges. We were getting hungry by that time and not sure how long we would get home for dinner since the traffic was so bad and JAMMMM...

When I opted for the 1st piece wedge into my mouth, I was like OH NO... I got ULCER.... painful le...

Haiii... really bad luck... need to bear with this stupid ulcer for few days....

"SOI" DAY 2

Case 2

After the unfruitful trip out during office hour, next was another long and boring trip to airport to pick my dad up. After we thought carefully, we decided to go to LCCT via Sutera Harbour highway. Damn it... also JAMMMM...

JAM and JAM and JAM....

Finally, we arrived at LCCT...

Dad's flight from Miri was already changed to 6.10pm (actual time was 2pm+) and were informed 2 days ago. It was shown as RETIMED. So, we went to check with the information counter. Apa we asked also she jawab "tak tahu". At the end, she said "belum kena estimate". What the hxll she was talking about????????? Information counter also dunno, who else will know??????????? She told my bro "jangan takut la, asalkan sudah terbang, memang sampai la." OF COURSE LA. If oledi terbang tak sampai, ke mana????? Choi choi choi.... talked rubbish....

Only 6.45pm, the status was changed to "Confirmed". Arrived at 7ish...

Bit surprised that the traffic was quite clear until we reached Likas area. OMG.... we queued and spent more than 1 hr on the road to get home....

Sighhhhh..... wasting time.... who was the uncivilized person spreading the rumourss???

P.S. My sis called when we were at airport that there was police car going around to announce that the rumours were fake. She was also stucked in the jam with her friends and they ended up running out petrol.

"SOI" DAY

I have to admit today is really SOI to me... actually, maybe to a lot of people...

Case 1:
Dunno who the hxll spread rumours around that petrol stations will go on strike for 3 days. Some said petrol price is going to increase again. Anyway, different people come out with different stories.

I was out with my aunty this am with bits n pieces in the town. We went back to office for lunch and were going to continue with bits n pieces again in Penampang area. My another aunty called to inform that a lot of people queuing at petrol stations, just like what happened 2 weeks back.

So, we just proceed to go out with the intention to get stuffs done, and if possible only fill up petrol. Who knows? OMG... jam everywhere... not only petrol station, even access road to everywhere also jam. Going thru Luyang area also jam, going thru town also jam... JAM JAM JAM...

We decided to return to office. At the end, JAM and wasted half an hour just to get from Karamunsing to Sunny Garden office. OMG~~~~ crazy ppl, crazy jam..

Unfruitful trip... with nothing done and settled...

Presents...

Me and J 3 year dating anniversary is around the corner...

I'm still digging my head up what to get for J. I want to get something memorable and yet he can use it everyday. Of course, to remember and miss me everyday... :P

Should not reveal much bout the presents that are in my mind 1st here. Who knows J reads my blog? haha...

Will post bout the presents in coming post. I need to do more and more research 1st for the best presents. Special present meant for special person... :=)

Joke

Joke 1:
It happened this morning when my dad met my neighbour who is staying 2 door away from mine. Let's name him A.

My next door neighbour's wife (named her as "B") was sweeping the car porch floor.

A: (Being kepoh) Hey... is she the neighbour's mum ah?
Dad: ssssshhhhhh.... No ah... she is his WIFE ah.

A is puzzled and surrounded with question marks??????????

Joke 2:
Mum was hanging the wet clothes on the drying rack at the back of the house. B was doing dunno-wat-kind of gardening. Since mum told me yesterday that B's husband already fixed an super-duper "UGLY" fence at the back of the house. So, me being kepoh, also wanna check out how UGLY it is. I was pretending talking to my mum while peeking what was she doing.

When we were on the way to work....

Mum: Did you see the UGLY fence?
Me: Yeah... Don't really understand what are they going to do with the fence. But it seems like they would plant some vegetables there...
Mum: Who was there doing gardening just now? Is it the husband?
Me: No la... it was B there.... you can't differentiate the husband and wife ah???
Mum: The wife looks so old, so much older than when we 1st saw her before the renovation (which was about 5mths back). Can't differentiate them liao...
Me: ?????????????????????
Mum: You know oh.... (telling the Joke 1). Conclusion of the jokes: this is mother-son couple....
Me: ???????? buuuuuaaaaahhhhhaaaaaahahahaha

Moral of the story: Girls must stay young as possible as you could. Buuuuaaaaaaahhhhhaaaa...

Yummy cake...

My sis is just back from HK for holiday before she starts her PHD and also working for her professor. She used to buy some chiffon cake for me from a famous bakery shop in HK. A small chiffon cake could cost HKD3 to HKD5 which is equivalent to RM1.50 to RM2.50. Expensive le...

Told my sis to get me some if she could, but she did not manage to buy any.

Hehe... when I got home today, I found this on the table.....

















Cheese flavour Chiffon Cake...

OMG...

Sis said it was actually for her to eat on her flight back to KK (by Air Asia).

I'm going to wallop it.... Can't wait any longer.... :P

I signed up for PPP!

Finally, I have signed up myself for PPP. Heard and seen PPP in many bloggers sites but I just don't bother bout it, though I know we could earn money by blogging.

Petrol and diesel price has tremendously increased that affecting everyone. Even my friends started to look for part-time job as an extra income, an little tiny extra to ordinary income is already so much better than nothing esp everything single thing is increasing in price, getting more and more expensive.

Just figured out that we could earn money from blogging about almost everything from Alternative Lifestyle, Arts/Literature, Autos, Business/Entrepreneurism, Celebrity News/Gossip, Charity/Community, Computers/Software, Cooking/Cuisine, Education/Personal Growth, Fashion/Style/Trends, General Business, General Entertainment, General Female Topics, General Living, General Male Topics, General Technology, Health/Fitness/Beauty, Hobbies/Collecting, Home Improvement/Construction, Household/Parenting, Internet/Web Design/Blogging, Music/Movies/Video Games/TV, Photography/Videography, Politics/Society/Government, Real Estate/Investing/Finance, Religion/Spirituality, Sales/Marketing, Shopping/Product Reviews, Sports/Outdoor Recreation, Technology/Gadgets, to Travel/Destinations.

I am going to concentrate my blogs on beauty, fashion, general female topics, travel and of course FOOD/COOKING.

I'm planning to write at least one payperpost everyday though I'm still figuring out how ppp works. I'm hoping for slight income from ppp. I'm saving for my next London and Europe (hopefully Rome, Italy), which need quite a sum of money due to the currency exchange. Hoping to spend more valuable and memorable time with my bf, J, who is staying in London. And of course, hoping to improve my writing skills too.

All the best to everyone out there....

blog reviews

Proud & Love

Hmmm... when you are in love with someone, would you be proud of him/her?

YES. I'm very proud of J. Not only that he is handsome, I'm just proud of everything bout him that I wanna show/introduce to the whole world of my beloved J. Never come to my mind that I'm shame of something of him or I wanna hide him from anyone else.

I don't really understand or I should say I TOTALLY do not understand what's so shame bout of telling ppl that you are dating and in relationship with xxxxx. The only reason is you are shame of letting ppl know. Why are you shame? Becoz you are not proud of him/her. If you are not proud of the person whom you LOVE, then you are actually not LOVING him/her. Else, I can't think of any reason you need to hide / shame.

Logically thinking kind of theory and philosophy. Let's see how long a relationship could go when one party is not proud of their partner/mate.

Good luck to all the couples....

Lazzzzyyyy and Busssssyyyy

Been really busssyyyy at work recently....

and of course, been really lazzzzyyyyy as well...

So, will try to update my blog as often as I can...

meanwhile, will continue to be busssyyyy and lazzzyyyy now... :P

Prayer

Dear Lord, please help me. Please lead me to be a patient, honest, sincere etc Christian. Please take me away from all kind of stress. Please help my aunty to "behave" Lord, please forgive me on whatever I have done wrong or being rude. Amen.

Angry Post 2

Case 2:

This bxxtch (sorry that I am so rude, but I'm really so angry) is always lazy. She is not working everyday but receiving one third salary more than me. FAIR?????? And also, she was only graduated with Diploma... She would take her sweet time having coffee and breakfast every am and watching TV throughout the day. Everyone commented on her LAZINESS... Yea, I know, this world is never been fair....

Never mind. She has been passing me half of her works as well.... FINE!

I had been super duper busy recently as our company has committed in two projects. Since she was so free, why couldn't she help to handle some stuffs that she could????

Today, right in front of me, she talked "BAD" thing about me to my uncle. AND, also showed her TEMPER to me. Yea, she is a Christian.

I could understand she did that to me if I was sitting there shaking my legs doing nothing.

Haiiiii.......

TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON????? BECOZ OF BXXCH???

Angry Post 1

Case 1:
My 2007 Leave. I was having some unpleasant months last yr due to my annual leave. This bxxtch was SUPER DUPER calculative with me on my annual leave.

(1) She was the one that encouraged me to go to London, however, she was the one that playing some unfair, trick, cheeky, bxxtchy stuffs at the back. My study leave and days that I went for exams, which were supposed to be complimentary from the company, were all deducted from my annual leave.

(2) She was expecting me on leave for only FEW days. How to go on leave for few days to fly to Europe????? She ended up telling me, hmmm.... most companies do not allow their staffs to go on leave for more than 1 week. I never hear of such fact, but I heard from my friends that it's true that some companies do not allow their staffs to take leave consequently for more than 2 weeks. BUT, there are companies as well, allow their staffs to take long leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no matter annual, unpaid...

(3) So called relatives... so called family business... I do not expect a lot just becoz we are all relatives. I do not expect EXCELLENT benefits from this family business company. BUT I do need understanding.

My uncle (THE BIG BOSS) decided to waive all my unpaid leave. Initially, this bxxtch already done my salary payment with all unpaid leave deducted and unwillingly followed my uncle's instruction to pay me in full. Be frank, I was expecting to be unpaid for that month.

What pissed me off was she was trying to play trick at the back by brain-washing my uncle that he shouldn't be giving me such kind of incentives etc etc etc etc etc... all the bxxtchy stuffs.....

AND also, she LIED. As a holy Christians, she LIED. She was telling me n my uncle different version of the story.

At that time, when I found out what she had done to me, I really HATE her but I still respect her as my aunty.

It took me long time to be "less" angry bout this case.



To-be-continue........

Yummy Yogurt...

We all love yogurt so much but somehow the dairy product has increased in price tremendously. A small cup of yogurt now is selling at least RM2.00, some end up almost RM4.00. Imported one even far more expensive.

Recently, a friend of mine introduced us this Easiyo (New Zealand product). A very simple way of making yogurt and yet the yogurts are so yummy and tasty.

Easiyo Leaflet

Yogurt Maker














Yogurt Powder (Raspberry flavour)











Yummy yogurt (Lemon flavour)

BANANAS

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, 'A banana a day keeps the doctor away!'