Lonely

I'm very sensitive and emotional.

2 days ago, J told me that he didn't eat much for dinner coz he had no more rice to boil. I didn't feel great to know this. He was very busy and I guess he won't bother to spend time driving to refurnish his rice supply. Hence, I bought a bag for him thru online shopping, hoping to make him felt touched as well.

Who knows? He asked me why was I bothered to buy him when I asked him whether he received the confirmation email from the shop and also if the parcel has arrived. My heart felt so "sour", feeling like what I has done was useless.

We had not been talking properly for almost a week now. Our time together is getting shorter and shorter. I feel blissful when J was here to accompany me, but most of the time I felt lonely when he was back to his own world. I couldn't do anything when I miss him, except texting him. But he got no time to entertain me at all coz he is currently busy with his new project, and actually he is always busy.

Oh God, please help me.... I don't want all this. I don't want to cry everytime I don't feel happy. I don't want to cry everytime I miss him. I don't want loneliness. I don't want to be helpless. I don't want to be weak though I have been to be as strong as I could. God, please help me.........